April 30th
10:00pm | The French Dispatch (2021) | R |
An American newspaper in a fictional French town during a vague 20th century time period is going defunct, so its editor-in-chief gets all the gang together to publish a final edition. That's really all I can do for a synopsis. I'm sure there's like a million little stories going on with every character, whether on camera or in the heavily annotated margins of Wes Anderson's personal script. Beautiful, symmetrical cinematography. And colors like the Easter Bunny's rainbow poop eggs. Wait, does he poop out the Easter eggs? Rabbits don't come from eggs... so is he more of a craftsman like Santa? I need answers.
Starring: All the Anderson regular menagerie + Benicio
April 28th
11:00pm | Feast (2005) | R |
This movie came about, I believe, as the result of the first season of Project Greenlight, a short-lived pseudo-contest show produced by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. But if you're hoping to see dem boston boys get their faces eaten off, no such luck, they don't have any screen time. Fear not though! This is an absolutely disgusting gore-fest in which many lesser famous (but you'll definitely recognize) faces are eaten with much ado and aplomb. With characters like "Hero", "Bozo", and "Honey Pie", this film is firmly tongue-in-cheek and well aware of its comedy/horror genre, even inviting the audience to participate in the who's gonna get it next and how aspect of horror fun. Which of course makes it perfect for the late-night drive-in as the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!!
Starring: Navi Rawat, Krista Allen, Balthazar Getty, Judah Friedlander, Henry Rollins, Clu Gulager, Jason Mewes
April 25th
10:00pm | The Fast Saga: F9 (2021) | PG-13 |
WOOOOOOOO!! We've reached the end of our Fast and Furious journey, and just weeks before the next one comes out! I'll tell ya whut, I was expecting this series to be bonkers crazy, but they've exceeded my expectations at every turn. I love it. I love it so much it's stupid. Eeeeeeverybody is back for this one (except Giselle pepeHands), and I dunno, they drive a fucking car to space or something? It probably has something to do with an international espionage vaguery heist situation or whatever. Cars go vroom. Family. Coronas. BBQ picnic. You know the drill. WOOOOOOOO!!
Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese, Luda, Nathalie Emmanuel, Charlize, John Cena, Sung Kang, Kurt Russell, Lucas Black
April 24th
10:00pm | The Founder (2016) | PG-13 |
Illinois salesman/milkshake machine peddler Ray Kroc finds an opportunity in the McDonald Bros burgeoning fast food burger joint in California. He sets out to franchise the chain across the midwest, replacing many of the diners and drive-ins that the 50s spawned with the rapid-fire assembly-line french fry factory that would become the most successful chain restaurant in history. Don't check my math on that, I'm just channeling Nick Wiger and taking a guess. I know Subway has the most locations by a lot, but I'd hesitate to call them more successful. They're more like weeds that pop up through the crevices of business. It's Tabba's redeem for McDonalds Monday!!
Starring: Michael Keaton, Nick Offerman, John Carroll Lynch, Linda Cardellini
April 23rd
10:00pm | The Frighteners (1996) | R |
This is an early horror/comedy from Peter Jackson that falls pretty squarely between his downright zany first features and the more polished Hollywood blockbusters he'd go on to direct. It's a helluva lot of fun, and actually scary at moments! MJF is a medium who uses his gift of talking to the dead to scam and grift folks along with his dead pals. Then an actual evil entity shows up, and he has to use his power to stop it. This one would be right at home on a Friday night, but then again, I already went to the video store and wrote all this...
Starring: Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, Peter Dobson, John Astin, Jeffery Combs, Dee Wallace, Jake Busey, Chi McBride
April 21st
10:00pm | Battle Royale (2000) | NR | / Evil Dead (2013) | R |
It's my two year Twitchaversary! And to celebrate, we have a Friday Night Midnight Movie Double Feature!! Two amazing and fucking brutal films from two sides of the globe! Yes, I'm aware the new Evil Dead movie came out today. Yes, you keep your filthy mouth shut about it if you saw it. I'm extremely excited, but I dunno about this whole assigned seating thing now in theatres... may have to wait a few more years and see if that's just a trend. But first! If you haven't seen this Japanese action/horror, boy are you in for a... treat? Basically it's what Hunger Games wishes it could be when it grows up. Pure psychotic Japanese film brilliance. Not for the squeamish. Neither of these are! Did you think I was gonna show Ratatoullie on a Friday night anniversary?? Get on down to the drive-in for some fun, and thanks for hangin' and making the stream great these past two years! :)
Starring: Tatsuya Fujiwara, Aki Maeda, Taro Yamamoto, Chiaki Kuriyama, Takashi Tsukamoto, Sosuke Takaoka
April 18th
10:00pm | Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) | PG-13 |
Wrapping up the Thor series! This one just has everybody in it, huh? I'm guessing Thor is gonna need some GotG help to fight this Gorr the God Butcher. Meanwhile his (american?) ex-gf Jane can wield Mjolnir, which I thought was destroyed by Hela in Ragnarock but maybe it gets re-forged somehow... and I could probably just be typing gibberish right now too. Strange opens a portal to a universe where Ms. Marvel is marrying The Flash and Drax is supposed to officiate, but the wedding is interrupted by Knormax the Blood Triller who eats an arrowless Hawkeye whole, and Grogu gets thrown into the cake. It's wild.
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale, Tessa Thompson, Taika Waititi, Russell Crowe, Jaimie Alexander, Idris Elba, Chris Pratt, Dave Bautista, Kat Dennings, Bradley Cooper
April 17th
10:00pm | Uncharted (2022) | PG-13 |
It's Maritime Monday! And look what I found that apparently they made. This is basically some DaVinci Code Pirates adventure mashup loosely based on the much more in-depth world-building video game. You like action/adventure tropes? Ohh boy... we gottem! You like completely nonsensical plot contrivances, head-scratching historical liberties, swashbuckling spiderman, and Mark Wahlberg's constantly furrowed face? What? You don't? Well.. maybe lower your expectations a bit, but still join for some ridiculous big-budget stupid fun!
Starring: Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg's Face, Antonio Banderas, Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle
April 16th
10:00pm | Parasite (2019) | R |
I love Bong Joon Ho. His style defies genre in a way nobody else can, bouncing from slapstick to utter horror to social commentary without missing a beat. So I've really been looking forward to seeing this after it got some great attention at the Oscars. But, hot damn! I didn't realize the elite company this is in on Top Movies of all time lists. Sheeesh. I only put a teaser up, so we can enjoy without spoilies. Let's get to watchin' this thing already!
Starring: Song Kang-ho, Lee Sun-kyun, Cho Yeo-jeong, Choi Woo-sik, Park So-dam
April 14th
11:00pm | Sausage Party (2016) | R |
This is absolutely the raunchiest cartoon you will ever see. And then come's the ending... (animated food orgy) So a bunch of foodstuffs start to question their reality and the nature of existense in the supermarket they know as the world. A hot dog named Frank is determined to find out what lies in the Great Beyond. It's hilarious. It's disgusting. (ORGY!) Who keeps saying that? This is not for the kids. This is not for the pearl-clutchers. This is for you and me.. cuz it's the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, James Franco, Bill Hader, Salma Hayek, Anders Holm, Nick Kroll, Paul Rudd, Craig Robinson
April 11th
10:00pm | Apollo 13 (1995) | PG |
Been a while since we've seen this one. And today's the anniversary! So sit back and relax and enjoy one of the finest pieces of cinema ever made from the comfort of your home and not the cold, dark, silent void of Space where these fine gentlemen were floatin' around while heroic math nerds on Earth were scrambling to science-save their asses. Also we haven't properly celebrated humans going back to the Moon, which is cool, but are they actually going? Or are they just flyin' around the backside and coming back? Cuz I want some damn boots on the ground again!
Starring: Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, Gary Sinise, Kevin Bacon, Ed Harris
April 10th
10:00pm | Just Friends (2005) | PG-13 |
It's Marital Arts Monday! This is a genuinely funny, albeit by-the-numbers, comedy that shines thanks to being perfectly catered to RR's personality (and fatsuit), but not without a little help from Anna Faris' psychotic crazy eyes and Chris Klein's infuriating good guyism. Basically it may be formulaic, but works cuz it's cast right, and you won't leave without laughing! Also, it's been like... what? 72 hours since I showed an RR movie? Sheeesh.
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Anna Faris, Chris Klein
April 9th
10:00pm | Stigmata The Avengers (2012) | PG-13 |
We watched The Avengers due to scuff. I'll fix the poster later. Whatever. I never even really liked Stigmata anyway! Avengers was fun though.
Starring: The Avengers
April 7th
11:00pm | Summer of 84 (2018) | NR |
This is a creepy serial killer mystery/ coming-of-age thing some have likened to Stranger Things or Stand By Me with a more sinister tone. In any case, it's boys in the 80s with 80s tropes and music and junk. But this is surprisingly not Stephen King, it's actually from the guys who brought us Turbo Kid, which was AMAZING! So we'll see about this different genre for them. The boys suspect that their local small town police officer is behind a series of killings and begin investigating him. But how close can they get to unravelling the mystery? Find out on the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Graham Verchere, Judah Lewis, Caleb Emery, Cory Gruter-Andrew
April 4th
10:00pm | Thor: Ragnarok (2017) | PG-13 |
Wow what a day! And it's on days like today where, as you all know, we like to step away from the news and the twitters, and watch a hot, hot man take off his shirt and save the universe! We've skipped the Avengers timeline for now in favor of Thor proper, and after The Dark World, I think this starts getting a bit goofier, but I'm enjoying the standalone series. Thor is imprisoned and he has to fight his good, green buddy Hulk in a Universal Gladiators like fight I guess in order to get back home and save Asgard. Will they do the tennis ball canon dodging thing for a finale? Well everybody fucking hopes so!
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blanchett, Mark Ruffalo, Idris Elba, Jeff Goldblum, Benedict Cumberbuns, Anthony Hopkins
April 3rd
10:00pm | M3GAN (2022) | PG-13 |
Murder Doll Alert! The latest in a very prestigious sub-genre of children's toys coming to life only to wanna murder everything. M3gan is AI based though.. not that that's too reassuring, she's probably just a super-racist on top of a murder doll. This isn't Monday themed, I just can't pass on a new murder doll movie. Not to be taken too seriously is my impression. It's M-threegan Monday!
Starring: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw, Ronny Chieng, Amie Donald
April 2nd
10:00pm | Major League (1989) | R |
It's opening weekend!! and the bases are bigger, the pitchers are pissy, and the shift is not allowed! I dunno man, I'm kinda half-and-half on these new rules. I get the point, and it's understandable trying to speed the game up for the non-baseballies. But what's next? "He Hate Me" taking BP in the nude, Vince McMahon fighting Kyle Schwarber in the tunnel while the Philly Phanatic drops elbows on the Mustard at giant second base? Okay, well... now that I put it that way. Can we get cheerleaders too? I mean, as long as we're still doing that sorta thing for other sports...
Classic baseball movie! Juuuuust a bit outside. Let's go!!
Starring: Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Corbin Bernsen, Margaret Whitton, Rene Russo, Wesley Snipes, Bob Uecker
