January 31st

   9:00pm | Split (2017), Glass (2019) | PG-13 |
[Spoilers redacted.] It's unlikely, but just in case somebody hasn't seen this yet. This is about a disturbed and dangerous guy with multiple personality disorder. How accurate it is in that respect, I have no idea. How amazing McAvoy's performance as 24 characters is? Fucking. This is a character study like you've never seen. Truly frightening and impressive film!
Starring: James McAvoy, Anya Taylor-Joy, Haley Lu Richardson, Jessica Sula

January 30th

   9:00pm | Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) | PG-13 |
Scott Pilgrim is a doofy 20 something who falls in love with a manic pixie dream girl with some serious baggage. In a Toronto where magic is real and just sorta excepted (I assume it's not normally but who knows), he must literally battle her exes to win her hand, all while maintaining his band Sex Bob-Omb, and letting down his current high school girlfriend. Let's be honest, I'd probably fight half a dozen trained mercenaries for MEW too. It's an absolutely amazing movie with colors and music everywhere, great fights, funny dialog, and Edgar Wright at the helm! It's Martial Arts Monday!!
Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin, Anna Kendrick, Alison Pill, Aubrey Plaza, Jason Schwartzman, Ellen Wong, Johnny Simmons

January 29th

   9:00pm | The Goonies (1985) | PG |
A ragtag group of youths find a treasure map and set out on an adventure to find the pirate's gold. Lotta talent here on the storytelling side (Donner, Spielberg, Columbus) as well as the beginning of some great careers. A quintessential 80s movie! And you know what? Maybe the real treasure was the... no it's the, it's the gold.
Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Jeff Cohen, Corey Feldman, Martha Plimpton, Kerri Green, Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Joey Pants

January 28th

   10:00pm | Dune (2021) | PG-13 |
I'm not exactly a Dune-head, but I have read at least the first few. The first rendition was, well frankly it was some of David Lynch's most subtle work, but do with that what you will. This new version though, is by Denis Villeneuve, who I completely trust with the material, so I'm looking forward to this! Aside from the sweeping landscapes, pretty much the first half of the book is all politics, so I'd be prepared for that. But then it's all pee drinking, magic rituals, drugs, and sandworms! So buckle into your stillsuits, and walk without rhythm if you know what's good for ya!
Starring: Timmy Chally, Becca Ferguson, Zendaya, Oscar Ike, Jason Moman, Stellen Skarsgy, Davey Bautista, Josh Brosky

January 27th

   11:00pm | Violent Night (2022) | R |
Maybe it's past Christmas by a night or two, but who's to say we can't watch this festive fright in January? Well, it's me... I'm the one to say, and I says yay. A new contender enters the Christmas cult horror arena, as this flick from the creator of Dead Snow has gotten a lot of great praise! I can't wait to see Cam Gigandet's abs, cuz even though I haven't seen this... Cam Gigandet's abs 100% make an appearance or somebody's not doing their job. It's the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: David Harbour, Johnny Legs, Bev D'Angelo, Alex Hassell

January 25th

   9:00pm | Brave (2012) | PG |
Happy Burns Night! This is one of the first really good projects to come out of the Pixar/Disney merger. It's about a princess archer who breaks custom and sets out on her own into the wild Scotish woods. Grab yourself yer favorite scotch and join for a night of great movies! Slàinte Mhath!
Starring: Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane

   11:00pm | Braveheart (1995) | R |
A truly epic masterpiece of storytelling. This tells the tale of William Wallace, hero of Scotland. Grand shakesperian story and characters, brutal battles, and just enough historical accuracy that you can probably do your book report on it and the teacher will let it slide. Amazing film. One of the best of all time!
Starring: Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Patrick McGoohan, Angus Macfadyen, Brian Cox, Catherine McCormack

January 24th

   12:00am | Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) | R |
It's a couple years later, but the zombies are still a problem! The American city-named family has to deal with growing pains as well as avoid zombies eating their brains. Packed with cameos and gross comic fun, it's a worthy followup to a modern classic! Just remember the rules.
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Zoey Deutch, Rosario Dawson, Luke Wilson, Thomas Middleditch

January 23rd

   9:00pm | House of Flying Daggers (2004) | PG-13 |
To celebrate Lunar New Year and the year of the rabbit, here's one of best Chinese martial arts movies in my opinion at least. From director Yimou Zhang (Hero, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon), this is a love triangle, physics-defying crazy action/romance epic. The colors and the costumes will make your eyes pop outta your head. The fight choreography is unmatched. The silent swordfight in the bamboo forest is simply one of the most beautiful scenes ever put on film. It's Martial Arts Monday once again!
Starring: Ziyi Zhang, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Andy Lau

January 22nd

   10:00pm | Weird Science (1985) | PG-13 |
Two nerds make the perfect woman from a computer program. Technology was so advanced back in the 80s! Next you'll be telling me they were playing Number Munchers on the same machine while she was compiling. While "perfect woman" may be a bold claim, the result is Kelly LeBrock sooooooo... many a young man growing up at the time can attest to its veracity. Is this gonna be one of those problematic comedies of a bygone era that slightly misunderstands women or social interaction? Dude, I just said it's about two guys who digital-frankenstein a lady for sex stuff, you do the math.
Starring: Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Paxton, RDJ

January 21st

   11:00pm | Ready Player One (2018) | PG-13 |
Get your 80s nostalgia on! with this action-packed adventure from Steven Spielberg. The creator of a virtual world promises his whole fortune and candy factory to the person who finds the easter egg in his meta-verse.. I mean OASIS. This is chock-full of references you'll love, and actually some amount of meta, since Spielberg's other films are such a big part of the 80s and 90s. So strap on your nausea-inducing headsets, full Andy Serkis mocap suits, and meet me in the VR lounge! I will totally NOT be the catgirl with body armor and magical broadsword talking about movies to anybody who will listen...
Starring: Tye Sheridan, Olivia Cooke, Ben Mendelsohn, Lena Waithe, TJ Miller, Simon Pegg

January 20th

   2:00am | Oldboy (2003) | R |
A man cruelly imprisoned for 15 years finds himself released inexplicably with the opportunity to seek out his captor. This is the first in Park Chan Wook's "vengeance trilogy", which we should watch all of eventually, but they're waaay too much to take in as a marathon. In fact, this movie is so intense, I wasn't even allowed to show it until the wee hours of the morning! That's right, it's the super-secret middle of the night Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Choi Min-sik, Yoo Ji-tae, Kang Hye-jeong, Kim Byeong-ok

January 19th

   12:00am | The Shape of Water (2017) | R |
Well, it's the fish fucking movie. It was only a matter of time I suppose. This is a modern fairy tale from Guillermo del Toro about a lady who falls in love with an experimental fishman at a secret research facility in the 60s. Should she be doing that? Hey, I'm not here to kink-shame, I'm just concerned about the scientific rigor and inevitable contamination of the project that comes from a dang janitor gettin' all freaky-deaky with the subject. Just empty the trash, Rosa!
Starring: Sally Hawkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon, Doug Jones

January 17th

   12:00am | Neighbors 1 & 2 (2014) | R |
A couple with a newborn are forced to live next door to a frat house, and they try to deal with it the easy way at first, but then shit gets ugly... except for Zac Efron of course, he's like incapable of ugly. Are you upset that I called it a frat? Yes, in fact I would call my country a cunt. What are you even doing here?
Starring: Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron, Lisa Kudrow, Dave Franco

January 15th

   10:00pm | The Lego Movie, Lego Batman Movie (2014) | PG |
A super regular contstruction worker is prophesied to be the "special" one who will save all of Legoland from an evil tyrant who doesn't approve of users mish-mashing worlds or expressing creativity. This is a laugh-a-minute, and strangely action-packed funfest with as many visual gags as dialog jokes delivered by an all-star cast. Yeah, you heard me, this is a really good movie!
Starring: Chris Pratt, Will Ferrell, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, ALison Brie, Charlie Day, Will Forte, Keegan-Michael Key, Morgan Freeman

January 14th

   2:00am | The Other Guys (2010) | PG-13 |
Buddy Cop movie! I'm not your buddy, cop! I'm not even a cop, pal! You have to tell me if you are, friend... And so forth. Two low-on-the-totem NY cops see an opportunity to move up in status, they fuck up a lot of shit. It's a funny movie from Adam McKay with funny dudes, and Mark Wahlberg's dumb Mark Wahlberg face is actually doing some good work for once, since it's a comedy. Late night movie!
Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Derek Jeter, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, SLJ, Rock

January 13th

   11:00pm | Friday the 13th Part III (1982) | R |
Stop me if you've heard this one... a group of friends goes camping near Crystal Lake and Jason Voorhees stalks and ki- yeah? Okay. Well, it may not be the first time, or EVEN the second time! But we know for sure it's not gonna be the LAST time! Rummage around in your junk drawers and try to find some old 3D glasses, or use Christmas Saran Wrap (results may vary), cuz we're watchin' this Friday Night Midnight Movie in 3 fuckin' D!! Happy Friday the 13th!
Starring: Richard Brooker, Dana Kimmell, Tracie Savage, Terry Ballard

January 10th

   1:00am | Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) | R |
I think this is the one I really like?? Man, I couldn't tell ya. Grab your guns and hitch up your incredibly unsuitable-for-fighting dresses, we got some zombies to murderfy! (Also there's like a sorta Pyramid Head monster bathroom scene that's pretty neat.) We're gonna get that Umbrella Corp this time!
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Wentworth Miller, Kim Coates, Spencer Locke

January 8th

   11:00pm | Asterix & Obelix: Mission Cleopatra (2002) | PG |
The boys go to Egypt to help build a palace for Cleopatra. I have a feeling, being PG, there's gonna be a lot less sex than og Miss Cleo was known for. But there'll probably be magical missteps, wild takes, and plenty of historical accuracy elsewhere, for sure! It's Rillaud's redeem!
Starring: Gerard Depardieu, Christian Clavier, Monica Bellucci

January 7th

   11:00pm | Black Adam (2022) | PG-13 |
I don't know anything about this one. Apparently it's DC, but I've never heard of this guy before. Is this somehow different than The Mummy 3: The Scorpion Rock? Usually when someone is entombed for centuries and manages to pop out in modern times, they're pretty set on villainy, so I'm not sure if this guy's gonna be stopping street thieves and saving damsels, but let's see!
Starring: Rock, Aldis Hodge, Pierce Brosnan, Noah Centineo

January 6th

   11:00pm | They Live (1988) | R |
The absolute classic John Carpenter film featuring a surprisingly good performance from the wrestler Roddy Piper and the mesmerizing 80s hottie Meg Foster. A drifter goes around LA chewing bubble gum and kicking ass, when one day he finds a pair of sunglasses that allow him to see the world for what it really is... controlled by alien invaders! Don't miss the iconic 1v1 alley fight about halfway through. Actually you could probably grow corn, pop it, come back, and it'll still be going. In any case, don't miss this classic Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster

January 5th

   10:00pm | Smile (2022) | R |
One of the top halloween movies of last year, and praised as one of the scariest of several years! A psychiatrist helps her patients overcome their issues, but a strange case starts to unravel her own reality and trauma. This one's not for the scaredy cats, or it is, just don't blame me for your dreams tonight!
Starring: Sosie Bacon, A-Train, Kyle Gallner, Robin Weigert

   12:00am | Pearl (2022) | R |
This is a period piece prequel to X, Ti West's other most recent movie. I gotta say I liked it more than I liked X, but it was interesting what he was doing with the play between the two, enough that I'll probably give X another shot. He's definitely one of my favorite guys in the horror game, and still manages to come up with creative ways of messing with the genre. A very well-done female serial killer movie!
Starring: Mia Goth, David Corenswet, Tandi Wright, Matthew Sunderland, Emma Jenkins-Purro

January 3rd

   10:00pm | Fast & Furious 6 (2013) | PG-13 |
Let's see, what happens in this one? You guessed it! Drivin' around, takin' down gangs of mercenaries, double and triple crossin' to the point you have no idea who's on which side, speeding down the freeway in a friggin' tank! But mostly it's about family... and those sweet sweet coronas at a backyard BBQ!
Starring: Vin, Paul, Rock, Michelle, Tyrese, Gal, Luda

January 2nd

   10:00pm | Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) | R |
Martial Arts Monday! A Chinese lady is told she has to save the world, and goes on a wacky adventure through the multi-verse (not that multi-verse, or is it? I dunno) in order to fulfil the prophecy. This is probably the most highly acclaimed movie of last year, and boasts some serious talent from action stars from the older generations and new!
Starring: Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu, Jamie Lee Curtis, James Hong, Jenny Slate

January 1st

   10:00pm | Inception (2010) | PG-13 |
Well Hello!
And Happy New Year! Start out the year with a bang with this top-rated,
killer action film from Christopher Nolan! A corporate
espionage dream thief is tasked with planting an idea rather than stealing as
usual. But as we go deeper into dreams within dreams, can he hold onto reality?
Probably on my top five of all time if that exists! Join for twisty mindfuckery!
Starring: Leo, JGL, EP, KW, TH, CM, MC^2, PP