May 30th

   7:00pm | Mummy Marathon! (1999) The Mummy or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Sand in my Shoes on a Desert Adventure with Brendan Fraser! It's got pyramids, it's got CGI sand Pharaohs, it's got lots and lots of scarab beetles, it's got it all! Will we watch the Tomb of the Dragon Lord or whatever? Hell nah dawg! Is the Tom Cruise Mummy on the table? Surprisingly yes... it's a pretty solid action flick if almost nothing to do with mummies. But for now: Mummy 1, Mummy Returns, and The People's Mummy!
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, Arnold Vosloo, The Rock, MCD

May 29th

   7:00pm | Bill & Ted Marathon! (1989) Everyone's favorite high school slacker duo that can't help but keep saving the world! Inseparable bandmates and most excellent dudes Bill S Preston, Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan must get a good grade on their history report in order to avoid being kicked out of school. Luckily their future handler Rufus presents them with a time-traveling phonebooth so they can collect some righteous dudes and dudettes from the past to help present a sick presentation. Bogus Journey is still a lot of fun and solid flick as well. As for the recent addition, it's not really that it was ill-advised or even poorly done, it's just kinda meh compared to the hyper-90s style and pinache of the first two. Still, we will find out how they work as a marathon! And as always, SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin, Jane Wiedlin, William Sadler, Pam Grier, Samara Weaving, Brigette Lundy-Paine, Kristen Schaal, Anthony Carrigan

May 28th

   7:00pm | Shrek Marathon! (2001) Shrek is an ogre. A Scottish ogre I think, but I don't remember that ever being addressed directly or having bearing on the story. Anyway, Lord Farquaad has banished all fairytale creatures from presumably the United Kingdom where they end up clogging up the Scottish swamps (or bogs) to Shrek's dismay. He simply cannot abide these annoying little happy fuckers like elves and blind mice and big bad wolves and DONKEY! So in order to restore peace and quiet to the swamp, he ends up departing on none other than his own fairytale adventure! It's one of the highest-grossing, most popular series of all time, and it's a bunch of fun!
Starring: Mike Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow

May 27th  

   11:00pm | Idle Hands (1999) This is a great, possibly lesser known cult comedy-horror. I'm not sure how many people know it, but those that do love it like I do. A stoner slacker's right hand becomes possessed with murderous intent, and it's all he can do to keep it in check. It manages to kill his two best friends along the way who presumably are too lazy to move on to the afterlife and just continue to hang out. Plenty of nods to classic horror here including Evil Dead and the strange Stone/Caine The Hand, as well as just being an overall throwback to the simpler times of campy mad scientist body horror, making it perfect for the FRIDAY NIGHT MIDNIGHT MOVIE! Oh, did you think I forgot about Jessica Alba wearing pretty much thin swaths of tissue paper in this? No, I did not, and look WITH RESPECT!
Starring: Devon Sawa, Seth Green, Jessica Alba, Elden Henson, Fred Willard

May 26th

   9:00pm | Top Gun (1986) YOOOOOO!! It's time for the best propaganda movie of all time! This Tony Scott high-flyin', towel-snappin', butt-smackin', blockbuster masterpiece funded by the US Governent will have you doing a 4G inverted dive with a MiG-28 without even spilling your Pepsi! And if all that sounded like utter nonsense to you, HOOOOO BABY am I excited to share with you this absolute BANGER. Action, romance, karaoke... incredibly homoerotic jeans beach volleyball!! This one has it all! Come on by, Ghost Rider, the pattern is clear!
Starring: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer, Michael Ironside, Tom Skerritt

May 24th  

   9:00pm | The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) I'm declaring it Heist Week! John McTiernan (Diehard) directs this remake of the old McQueen/Dunaway flick from '68. It's very 90s in style and of course we have Bond playing a super-slick, ultra-rich playboy, but it holds up even amid the 1999 crowd. Its sexy, sleek, and opulent to the highest degree with the two charismatic leads playing off each other perfectly. You know that feeling you get when you're so rich that you're bored enough to steal multi-million dollar artwork? Thomas Crown knows. Get heisted!
Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Rene Russo, Denis Leary

May 23rd

   9:00pm | The Way of the Dragon (1972) It's Martial Arts Monday! This is one of the undeniable founding fathers of Kung Fu movies. Bruce Lee writes, directs, and of course nunchucks his way through weirdly American gangsters in Italy who are harassing his relatives trying to run a restaurant there. It's actually a lot more campy comical than most of his other work, but don't worry, the fight scenes are incredibly choreographed and the story, as wacky as my description sounds, comes together pretty nicely. This movie was shot without sound, so terrible dubbing was never NOT the outcome, just fyi for purists. Also, some of the fighting gets pretty hairy... if you know what I mean.
Starring: Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Nora Miao, Robert Wall, Tony Liu

May 22nd

   9:00pm | Baby Driver (2017) I don't know anything about this other than that it's supposed to be super awesome with a bangin soundtrack. Edgar Wright pretty much can't miss though, so I'mma trust him. Who gave this baby a license? Is this a Baby Geniuses type of situation? Or maybe Boss Baby... We did watch the 80s classic Solarbabies not too long ago, but I doubt it's like that. Anyway a baby getaway driver gets in over his head with some crime syndicate. We sure are doin some heistin lately! Heisted a whole giant-ass gorilla last night!
Starring: Ansel Elgort, Jon Bernthal, Jon Hamm, Eliza Gonzalez, Jamie Foxx, Kevin Spacey

May 21st

   9:00pm | King Kong (2005) Peter Jackson's Big Ol' Monkey Movie packs a punch with a whopping runtime of just over three hours, but that's because it's really two movies in one. "KK1: Kong Stole My Girl and Also there's Dinos" and then "KK2: Kong Takes Manhattan". It's truly an epic adventure that showcases Jackson's love of Film and desire to share the nostalgic sense of wonder that used to be the movie-going experience with a modern audience. Nobody could do it better. Also, giant monkeys and dinos ya'll!!
Starring: Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody, Andy Serkis, Colin Hanks

May 20th  

   11:00pm | Thir13en Ghosts (2001) Alright, I love a good number or punctuation incorporated movie title. "Se7en"... "2 Fast 2 Furious"... "Face/Off"... but this is absolutely the most egregious and frankly illegible culprit on the block! It's somewhere in between being a fun title pun and early aughts leet-speak, which well, I guess since this is 2001 we should just be thankful I'm not requiring you to log into an AOL chat room and out your age/sex/loc... btw it's the FRIDAY NIGHT MIDNIGHT MOVIE! asl??
Starring: Mathew Lillard, Tony Shalhoub, Shannon Elizabeth, F. Murray Abraham

May 19th

   9:00pm | Arrival (2016) Denis Villeneuve directs this hypnotizing, atmospheric take on an alien "visitation" story about a language expert employed to try and communicate with our mysterious new friends. It is, at least in my opinion, one of the most realistic depictions of how First Contact might actually play out. Of course I'm a bit of a sucker for linguistics and also the idea that aliens might not even be corporeal, which are both done expertly in this, so I'm probably a little biased. Don't get me wrong though, the Will Smith "Welcome to Earth" approach is also reasonable and it's a good thing to know that that's still on the table so to speak...
I have an ex that got her doctorate in Neuroscientific Communicative Symbology or something like that. She has a PhD in reading comic books... What? I'm not jealous. YOU'RE JEALOUS. Shut up!
Watch this. It's amazing.
Starring: Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker

May 17th  

   9:00pm | Ocean's Twelve (2004) It's heist time again! But now we're gonna need an additional team member. Which one is the new one? Who knows! There's no way I could keep track of that many friends! Well, maybe if they were demolitions experts, asian contortionists, professional gamblers, costume artists, my ex-wife, Scott Caan, hackermans, stunt drivers, and the rest. Maybe. So they all somehow need money again shortly after getting away with all those millions of Benedict's dollhairs, and they go to Europe to do a triple heist on some delicious Euros and just kind of, ya know, backpack around and "find themselves" before finishing college... or something like that.
Starring: Cloondog, Pittkat, Julia Robs, CZJ, Matty D, Don Cheads, Bernie Mac, Andy Garcia, Scott Caan

May 16th

   9:00pm | The Proposal (2009) Marital Arts Monday is back again! Are your vows up to date? Is that a thing? Maybe you wanna just glance over them every few years like a résumé, change your contact info, maybe punch up that sneaky little guy that might've been a bit of filler. Who knows?! (Probably some of you, certainly not me.) This is about an overbearing, control-freak boss who forces her assistant to fake-marry her in order to not get real-deported back to the horrible communist wasteland of... *checks notes* ...Canada! I don't wanna brag, but I've seen a couple movies before, and something tells me these crazy kids might just fall in real-love after some funny fake-love hijinks and mishaps!
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Mary Steenburgen, Coach, Betty White, Malin Akerman

May 15th

   9:00pm | Superbad (2007) I love the single-night party movie! And this is absolutely the pinnacle of that small but competitive sub-genre of teen sex comedy. Supposedly Rogen and Goldberg wrote this while they were still in high school, which would explain why they're talented and successful adults, cuz even for a raunchy comedy about dudes trying to score some booze and the inevitable ass to follow, it's a damn funny movie! Join for light-hearted bro-ribbing and the most confidentlyincorrect fan-favorite stooge, McLovin!
Starring: Michael Cera, Jonah Hill Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bill Hader, Seth Rogen, Emma Stone

May 14th

   9:00pm | Spider-Man 3 (2007) We're on to the third and final film of the Raimi-Tobey-Spideyverse. Now you're gonna have to take it up with someone a lot more dedicated to spooderman lore than me about why this is the lowest rated of all the movies. Maybe they tried to pack in too many storylines/character arcs and couldn't really wrap 'em all up without doing a fourth. I kinda have a feeling Raimi had just spent all his spooderweb at this point and was ready to move on. Still, it's an undeniable blockbuster full of big names and great villains, including spidey himself with the intro of Venom. It's a lot of fun and deserves more love!
Starring: Tobey, Kirsten, Topher, Franco, BC, THC, BDH, and JKS ofc

May 13th  

   11:00pm | Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives! (1986) Yeah, I'm showing the sixth movie in this iconic slasher franchise first (and only likely), you got a problem with that, take it up with my ability to count real good. There's also the fact that it's easily the best of the series, and all my horror homies know that. Tommy Jarvis, the one real hero of the series attempts to end Jason once and for all, but accidently brings him back to life as an undead Frankenstein's Monster-esque impervious ultra-demon. WHOOPSIES! Did I say hero?
Starring: Thom Mathews, Jennifer Cooke, C.J. Graham

May 12th

   9:00pm | Out of Sight (1998) I think this is one of Soderbergh's best! It's an understated, suspenseful, funny neo noir heist film that by no means got the shaft from critics, but I feel like it doesn't get the credit it deserves in the modern crime-romance pantheon. Jack Foley is a very successful bank robber. Karen Sisco is a US Marshall. They're also both insanely hot and charismatic soooo... you can probably figure out where this is going. Is it a better story than a lifelong dutiful corrections officer helping an inmate escape and leading the country's law enforcement on a nationwide manhunt for the extremely unlikely couple only to end in tragedy in southern Indiana? Uhhh yeah dude, of course it is. And stop watching the nightly news for fucks sake.
Starring: The Cloondog, Jenny from the Block, Ving Rhames, Catherine Keener, Dennis Farina, Luiz Guzman

May 10th  

   9:00pm | Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) This is a PG horror movie. It always has been and Tim Burton always understood that. Which is kinda why I'm surprised a studio ever let him make it! But I'm happy he did, and he brought along his favorites to help realize this chocolate-coated, colorful nightmare. Yes, I'm a fan of Gene Wilder's original interpretation of the character too, but anybody who says Depp didn't absolutely bring the right levels of the crazy and the creepy to this rich, eccentric shut-in isn't paying attention. Also still and forever... fuck Grandpa Joe!
Starring: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, HBC, Christopher Lee

May 9th

   9:00pm | The Wedding Singer (1998) Now back to Marital Arts Monday! When we last left our couples sometime in the 80s, wedding band leader Robbie had recently been dumped by his fiancee, and catering waitress Julia isn't really feeling the Love Connection with hers. Will they find each other on the dancefloor of life? Tune in Monday at 10|9c to find out!
Starring: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Christine Taylor, Allen Covert

May 8th

   9:00pm | Carrie (1976) Happy Mother's Day! If you somehow have managed to avoid knowing what this classic horror film is about, I guess I'll try not to spill anything. Basically, a religious-nutcase tortures her daughter in psychological ways, while she's also tormented by bullies at school for her resulting weirdness/naïveté. It's a slow-burner during the first half, and quickly fires up in the second. De Palma is not my favorite director, but he certainly made one of the best Stephen King movie adaptations ever. This is rightly considered one of the best horror films ever made, and the two leads combine for a truly unsettling atmosphere of dread leading to an amazing climax!
Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie

May 7th

   9:00pm | World War Z (2013) With a $190M budget, this is one of the biggest zombie movies ever made. And you know what, it's pretty damn good too! There's a few extremely unsettling and memorable scenes/shots in this that are just top tier. The zombies scaling a wall like ants and the opening with the family in traffic scene are obvious ones for me. So, Brad has to find his wife and also save the world from a horrible pandemic, two things that seem to alternate turns as his main motivation throughout. But what will he do about the anti-maskers and Z-deniers you ask? Nothing. They're fucking zombie food, bro.
Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, James Badge Dale

May 6th  

   11:00pm | Graveyard Shift (1990) Here's a criminally underrated, extremely grimy creature feature based on a Stephen King short story set in a Maine textile mill that could really use a visit from OSHA. The camp is in high factor with Stephen Macht's strange, ummmmm, "Maine bayou" accent? And Dourif's over-the-top exterminator character chewing on every piece of scenery like some sort of, uhhh small rodent. Fair warning, if very real, creepy crawly critters are not your thing... or you prefer not to be able to smell your films while watching them... Well perfect! Come on down to the drive-in for this Friday Night Midnight Movie!
Starring: David Andrews, Brad Dourif, Stephen Macht, Kelly Wolf, Andrew Divoff

May 5th

   9:00pm | Gringo (2018) I can't figure out for the life of me after reading everything about this movie why it is called Gringo.. The main character you would assume is being referred to is black, soooo, I don't know if the filmmakers just think it's a term used for Americans? I dunno. In any case, it was panned by critics, but it's got a great cast and looks funny and action-packed, so I wanna give it a shot! This is a dark comedy about a businessman getting caught between the law, big pharma, and the cartels when dealing with a new marijuana pill. No word on if the filmmakers are also unaware that Marinol has been around for like 20 years. Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Starring: David Oyelowo, Joel Edgerton, Charlize Theron, Thandiwe Newton, Michael Jackson's Daughter?

May 4th

   10:00pm | Good Omens s1e4 (2019) Wednesday Night TV! Alright, I have a note that just says "Happy" tv show, and found this Chris Meloni thing, which I'm definitely into. So whoever suggested it (I'm guessing grifter), I sure hope you weren't talking about the horribly depressing movie Happiness or the other "Happy" movie that is probably the last thing I'd watch or any number of others including The Pursuit of Happyness, which just pisses me off from the title without even needing to sit through it, or Happy Feet, the penguin cartoon with an inexplicable VA cast. Anyway, we're gonna watch this one about *checks tags* "Violence, Comedy, Unicorn, Crime" ...da fuck?
Starring: Christoper Meloni, Patton Oswalt, Ritchie Coster, Lili Mirojnick
Nevermind, that won't play. Good Omens it is!

May 3rd  

   9:00pm | A Quiet Place Part II (2020) I guess since I haven't shown the 2018 original one here, you should probably check that out first if you haven't. It's just a damn fine horror movie, one of the best of the last decade I think. And so I'm really pretty excited to see this highly rated sequel. But if you do decide to join without seeing the first, don't come complaining about spoilers. I mean, I put a trailer over there -> every night, so I don't know why you would suddenly start complaining about spoilers tonight...
Starring: Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmonds, Cillian Murphy, John Krasinski, Noah Jupe

May 2nd

   9:00pm | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016) It's Martial Arts Monday! And we're heading back to the turtleverse for this extremely quick turn around sequel to 2014's TMNT reboot. Which was pretty much very okay and generally acceptable overall. This one has a few new additions though that make it very much like Secret of the Ooze in that Bebop and Rocksteady enter the picture. Unlike TMNT:SotO though, unfortunately, we do not get a full-on Vanilla Ice original song and dance number... which, let's face it, might have been the single most important cultural event of the 90s.
Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, Stephen Amell, Noel Fisher, Reacher, Brian Tee, Tony Shalhoub