July 31st
9:00pm | Bad Boys (1995)
Buddy Cop action comedy by Michael Bay with plenty enough of all those elements to keep your brain nice and smooth for two hours! I dunno if it was Will Smith's weirdly late apology video, or I just got a hankerin' for some nice Bay-splosions, but this really is a fun movie. So grab your popcorn and your slap emotes, and don't forget... All Cops Are Buddies!
Starring: Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Lisa Boyle
July 30th
9:00pm | The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
Believe it or not, I've never seen this! It actually might be the only DiCaprio movie I haven't seen. Just never got around to it. And my other pick for tonight fell through, so here we are! I believe Leo is like a baseball manager who employs Jonah Hill to advise him on stock trades or something like that. And Harley Quinn is there, and a bumble bee man, and Henry Zebrowski making devils horns, and Marty Scorsese directed the whole thing... wait, no that was definitely my dream earlier after having weird indian food and dozing off listening to Last Podcast on the Left. I have no idea what this movie is about.
Starring: Leo, Jonah, Margot, Matty McC, Rob Reiner, Jon Favreau
July 29th 
11:00pm | May (2002)
Socially awkward doesn't begin to describe the veterniary assistant weirdo May, who granted, was raised by an equally psychotic mother. May has a lazy eye and a thing about perfection... more specifically perfect body parts. And if you think you know where this cult classic is going, you may be right, but the buildup is all the fun! Join for a genuinely creepy, funny, and gorey good time on the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Angela Bettis, Jeremy Sisto, Anna Faris
July 28th
9:00pm | Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)
The 2014 Ouija horror movie based on the classic sleepover board game was nothing more than an unwatchable piece of lame crap with boring tropes. It's frankly amazing anybody wanted to continue with a series. But then they gave it to one of my favorite modern horror directors, Mike Flanagan! This prequel has pretty much nothing to do with the original and stands on its own easily. The period set work is perfect for the 60s setting, a much closer and spookier time for esoteric work like psychic readings and such. This is a story about a con-family of mother and daughters introducing a new item to their act. But even if they're a scam, is Ouija just a game?
Starring: Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Annalise Basso, Henry Thomas
July 26th 
9:00pm | The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Garf Too! This one, much like Spooderman 3 packs perhaps a few too many villains and storylines in under the impression it's not gonna get axed by the studio and replaced immediately with a hodgepdge of spinoffs, new movies with indecipherable titles, and spidey cameos in Avenger films. I'm not saying it's bad, just an end to an era where we numbered things in a way that made sense... lol jk, you guys know I can't count anyway!
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Paul Giamatti, Dane DeHaan, Sally Field
July 25th
9:00pm | Bridesmaids (2011)
Absolutely hilarious modern comedy with a fairly simple story about bridesmaids competing to prove who's the bride's true best friend. What elevates this well above anything else is the superstar cast of female comedians/writers. A lot are SNL vets, and just in general you can tell they've all worked together in sketch and improv groups for years. The chemistry is off the charts, the jokes are intelligent and deserved, and Melissa McCarthy steals every scene she's in in this breakout role. It's really a perfect storm of comedy, and it's Marital Arts Monday bbyyyyy!!
Starring: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Terry Crews, Rebel Wilson, Ellie Kemper, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Melissa McCarthy
July 24th
9:00pm | The Visit (2015)
M. Night Shyamalan throws his hat in the found footage ring with this, what some consider his return to form. Two siblings go to visit ol' Nana and Pop Pop whose behavior gets increasingly bizarre and terrifying. It's a taught, atmospheric film with some predictability and of course a twist, but the overall creepiness is done masterfully, and for a PG-13 horror it's as delicious as grandma's baking!
Starring: Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan, Peter McRobbie, Kathryn Hahn
July 23rd
9:00pm | Speed (1994)
Pop quiz, hotshot. What's one of the greatest action movies of all time? Basically, a bus can't go below 50 mph or it explodes. In a lot of ways this is the quintessential action movie. It pulls a lot from 70s classic car chases, it continues (and imho) culminates the 80s action propaganda of cops are the ultimate good guys, it has a decidedly simple and idiotic plot, and it just DOES NOT STOP. Which, of course you know is also the incredibly stupid plot, making this one of the most self-aware movies too! Enjoy it for the ultimate, bus-blow-uppin'-est, gleeful indulgence that it is!
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper, Jeff Daniels, Alan Ruck
July 22nd
11:00pm | The People Under the Stairs (1991)
Sort of a "reverse" Home Alone in every imaginable sense. This is a tale about some unfortunate poors who try to steal from their landlords, only to become trapped in their labyrinthine house of horrors. It's equal parts camp, horror, and comedy. Based on a King novel (or novella I can't remember) and directed by Wes Craven, this is an absolutely perfect movie to join for the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Ving Rhames, Brandon Adams, Everett McGill, Wendy Robie, A.J. Langer
July 21st
9:00pm | Evolution (2001)
This is such a fun movie! A real underrated comedy gem from Ivan Reitman. A ragtag crew has to basically stop an alien invasion arising from a quickly evolving organism that hitched a ride on a meteor. You don't wanna miss this one, trust me!
Starring: David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott, Ethan Suplee, Dan Aykroyd
July 19th
9:00pm | The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
Alright, we're on to the Garfield era! After this I'm gonna need a spreadsheet to keep track of what movie we're on, cuz between No Way Far From Homecoming Back and all the variations of Venom that have wiggled their way out of Hollywood since these simpler times, I have absolutely no idea of any kind of release or watch order. This is a complete reboot of the origin story if I'm not mistaken. So we get to see Uncle Ben die again, and Peter go through his spidey puberty again, and presumably kiss Emma Stone upside down in a filthy alley. Also it's directed by Marc Webb, so that's fun!
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Irrfan Khan, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen
July 18th
9:00pm | The House (2017)
Marital Arts Monday is back! This is a harrowing tale about a couple whose daughter loses her scholarship, so they need to turn to a life of crime in order to support her crippling education addiction. After starting a speakeasy casino in their friend's house, they spiral out of control, eventually leading to the bittersweet moment of attempting to save their daughter's life by shoving a heart transplant from her dad into her chest like they're stuffing a sausage casing..... probably.
Starring: Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, Nick Kroll, Jeremy Renner, Alexandra Daddario, Ryan Simpkins Allison Tolman
July 17th
9:00pm | John Q. (2002)
I missed this one when it came out, so I'm going on Blue's endorsement. Denzel plays a father whose kid needs a heart transplant, but insurance refuses to cover it. So he takes the hospital hostage. Now I'm just guessing here, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and wonder if the systemic problems of health care/insurance in this country are a central theme to this movie and somehow still relevant since we've done exactly zero to correct them. What's that? The system is actually working exactly how it's designed, and medical care is not a basic human right, but another product to be manipulated by the rich? Oh. Denzel, come in here a sec..
Starring: Denzel Washington, Robert Duvall, Kimberly Elise, James Woods
July 16th
9:00pm | The Fifth Element (1997)
So many reasons to love this epic sci-fi adventure movie! Luc Besson's vibrant vision of the future is still unparalleled 25 years later. You've got Gary Oldman doing an awesome over-the-top villain, Milla running around in tissue paper, high-flying car chase action, a kickass score by Eric Serra, and lines like, "Negative, I am a meat popsicle." It's just a non-stop fun flick with something for everyone! One of my all-time favorites!
Starring: Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Chris Tucker
July 15th
9:00pm | Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Grifter's redeem is perfect material for the Friday Night Midnight Movie drive-in! Nic Cage plays a near mute mysterious drifter armed only with his cage faces, and having broken down in a creepy little town, in order to pay for his repairs, he takes a job as "The Janitor" at the local abandoned playplace where all sorts of animatronic, puppet mascot horror furries try to make sure he doesn't survive the night. I've seen a lot of FNAF playthrough and lore content, but I believe this stands on its own. In any case, it looks like a Hell of a good time!
Starring: Nic Cage, The Zombie Rock-afire Explosion
July 14th 
9:00pm | Pig (2021)
Tabba's redeem! He's been saving dollhairs for a while for this one. I don't know anything about this movie other than Nic Cage is a truffle hunter whose titular pig gets stolen. Will he go all John Wick on an entire underground society? Is he a man with a particular set of skills? Can I eat this mushroom I found in the woods? Well, the answer to that one at least is of course, "Yes, you can eat anything once." Do pigs get truffle training, or is it just a certain brand of pig? I have many questions for Chat..
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Alex Wolff, Adam Arkin
July 12th 
9:00pm | 22 Jump Street (2014)
Our two favorite undercover officers are back! And this time they're matriculating! I wrote that in comedy trailer announcer voice. I dunno how well that translates... As good as the first and way better than the droopy tv series, Tatum and Hill are the best bumbling buddy cop duo you could shake a stick at. What? What am I even writing anymore? Come watch funny movie.
Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube, Nick Offerman
July 11th
9:00pm | Drunken Master (1978)
This is really the original comedy-kung fu crossover that Jackie Chan's whole career would go on to fully embrace. He would later remake it/technically a sequel with a bigger budget in 1994's also fantastic Legend of Drunken Master. It is as advertised, a young martial artist is trained in the ancient (somewhat real) Drunken Boxing form, and the only way he can beat up the baddies is by having a bit of that delicious nectar of the gods... ol' Pan's Potion... a nice megapint of dad's medicine... you get the idea. It's Martial Arts Monday!
Starring: Jackie Chan, Siu-Tin Yuen, Jeong-Lee Hwang
July 10th
9:00pm | Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Is this the best sports movie of all time? Who's to say? I mean, it's not Breaking Away or Hoosiers, but hang on... is the only good thing Indiana ever did sports movies? I'm gonna have to explore this theory more later. This movie's about competitive dodgeball by grown-ass adults and it is glorious. Remember your 5 D's: Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, Dodge! And leave most of your brain on the bench, it's good clean fun!
Starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Christine Taylor, Justin Long, Rip Torn, Alan Tudyk, Jason Bateman, Hank Azaria
July 9th
9:00pm | Django Unchained (2012)
Tarantino's blood-soaked western debut is a masterpiece of cinema. Its wild tone shifts can be a little jarring, but the overall product is a mesmerizing, brutally violent and honest look at the landscape of America at the time, both literally and figuratively. It's beautiful, it's funny, it's tough to take at times. This is the story of a freed slave trying to find and save his wife from a masochistic plantation owner. And while the villains and situations are played up to cartoonish absurdity, if n-bombs and accepting history aren't your thing, maybe look away. That said, if you like Tarantino and his propensity toward satisfying vengeance stories, this is for you!
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kerry Washington, Samuel L. Jackson, Walton Goggins, Don Johnson
July 8th
11:00pm | Snakes on a Plane (2006)
A motocross bro witnesses a high-profile mob hit in Hawaii, and FBI agent Sam Jackson convinces him to testify against the mobster in LA. No problem. We'll just board this totally regular, not at all infested with deadly snakes plane for a couple hour trip... Oh wait. The mob boss has rigged luggage on the plane to release, you guessed it, dozens of different deadly doods. And if you're already starting to rack up questions after that brief synopsis (such as, how did he get all those deadly snakes past security? How did he GET all those deadly snakes at all??), just wait! None of the answers and more on tonight's FRIDAY NIGHT MIDNIGHT MOVIE!
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Nathan Phillips, Rachel Blanchard, Kenan Thompson, Lin Shaye
July 7th
9:00pm | Misery (1990)
Everything comes together to make this truly one of the creepiest thrillers ever made. Based on a novel by peak coked-up Stephen King, and supported by a screenplay by William Goldman (Butch Cassidy, Princess Bride, All the President's Men, and many more...) this movie is expertly directed by Rob Reiner to maximize the eerieness of every moment. And we haven't even gotten to the performances of Bates and Caan! Or the concept of the unhealthy parasocial/fanatic relationship with content creators that is more relevant than ever today! If you haven't seen this, it's a must. If you have, it's time for a rewatch. RIP Jimmy Caan, a true Hollywood legend.
Starring: James Caan, Kathy Bates
July 5th 
9:00pm | Black Friday (2021)
It's grifter's birthday! So we're gonna watch this redeem he's had in for a while about some retail workers fighting off a horde of maybe zombie shoppers. It could be a scathing alegory of the rampant consumerism in our crumbling late stage capitalism empire. Or it might just be a wacky horror comedy we can at least hope will provide Bruce Campbell with some nice one-liners! How 'bout something like, "It's time to send these zombies back to hell... in twelve items or more."
Starring: Devon Sawa, Ivana Baquero, Michael Jai White, BC
July 4th
9:00pm | Independence Day (1996)
Happy 4th of July! The aliens are invading, and Humanity's only hope is the strength and integrity of America's leadership and trained forces to set aside our differences and come together in order to survive..... well fuck. Good thing this is a fun, fictional sci-fi movie anyway... Probably one of the biggest blockbusters of all time, it really does a great job with a ton of genre work. There's exciting action, great CGI, spooky alien practical fx, actually good character development as well as funny comic relief types, Will Smith punching an alien in the face, and Jeff Goldblum doing his face. Join for fun!
Starring: Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Judd Hirsch, Randy Quaid, Brent Spiner
July 3rd
9:00pm | Jack Reacher (2012)
This is a different kind of action movie than we're used to. It's very much character-driven rather than fast-edit 'splosion driven, and Cruise is perfect for the role, I don't care what fans of the book say (Cruise is much smaller than Lee Child's written character). In my opinion it just makes his skills and intellect the most scary thing about him, rather than just that he's a hulking mass of physical intimidation. Am I gonna gush incessantly about Rosamund Pike like I did Willa Fitzgerald in the tv show? Meh, she's okay... she's no Officer Roscoe though!
Starring: Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike, Richard Jenkins, Werner Herzog, David Oyelowo, Jai Courtney
July 2nd
9:00pm | Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)
Starting off the Fourth of July Weekend we have this followup to the Kingsman in which, as is typical, the brits have to get help from America! After their headquarters are blown up in London, they learn of an allied sister secret org in good ol' KY, USA. And the two spy agencies have to learn to work together to take down global supervillain Julianne Moore. This one's not quite as hyper violent and a little more cartoonish than the first. It's a whole lotta fun, especially the outlandish character stereotypes complete with Channing Tatum's full cowboy. It's a damn good time!
Starring: Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Channing Tatum, Julianne Moore, Hanna Alström
July 1st
11:00pm | It Follows (2014)
This is a really unique horror movie. And I say that even though it is absolutely packed with references and homages to the horror masters like Craven and especially Carpenter. Even the boiled-down premise is just a basic horror trope we all know and cherish, that if you're a teen in a horror movie and have sex, ya dead. Somehow though, through masterful use of dread, cinematography, and an killer score, this manages to be one of the most original in the genre in a very long time. This one has no jump-scares, no gore or schlock, it's just the definition of Scary. Get on down to the drive-in for the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Malika Monroe, Keir Gilchrist, Olivia Luccardi
