Dec 29th

 

   11:00pm | Strange Days (1995) | R |
It's almost New Years, and I totally picked this because of that... and didn't not remember what this movie is about until now! This is like a cyberpunk dystopian future flick set in 1999 Los Angeles New Years Eve, and made in 1995, written by James Cameron and directed by his wife Kathryn Bigelow. Now, that's a lot to take in. Just imagine what these characters are going through! This is a 90s sci-fi classic that I think holds up really well. It's a weird thing though, making a dystopian future period piece just... 4 years in the future. But I suppose the same could be said/done for today too... It's the friggin' Friday Night Midnight Movie!!
Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Angela Bassett, Juliette Lewis, Tom Sizemore, Vincent D'Onofrio

Dec 25th

   8:00pm | Violent Night (2022), Krampus (2015), Christmas Horror Story (2015) | R |
It's a Christmas Mini-Marathon! Santa's tired of your shit, and he's handing out more than coal this year, boys and girls! He'll thwart some mercenaries in the best Christmas horror of recent years. Then Krampus (anti-santa) is gonna bag and tag some non-believing little christmas shits. And finally, I have a Canadian Christmas Horror Anthology that is waaay better than it has any right to be, culminating in a Santa-Krampus brawl to rival when in 1998 The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell, and plummeted 16 feet through an announcer's table. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!!
Starring: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, Beverly D'Angelo, Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner, William Shatner, George Buza, Rob Archer








Dec 24th

   9:30pm | Anna and the Apocalypse (2017), Rare Exports (2010) | R |
It's holiday tradition time! And of course we have a few of those around here as well. These are two favorites that you can't miss, no matter how much you try. I absolutely will make you watch a horde of zombie santas hanging dong and running through the snow-covered scandavian wilderness. And you know what? You're gonna like it. In fact, if you've never seen this amazing Finnish film, I'll say you're gonna love it! But to warm up, we're gonna watch a modern Christmas horror classic. I might always say I hate musicals, but sweet baby Jesus in a manger is this a great one! You'll get your presents tomorrow, I'm opening mine tonight!
Starring: Ella Hunt, Malcolm Cumming, Sarah Swire, Jorma Tommila, Onni Tommila, Peeter Jackobi, Tommi Korpela

Dec 19th

 

   10:00pm | Thanksgiving (2023), Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) | R |
Ahhh, the fake trailers for the Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse double feature. We're gonna make 'em all eventually! Could this be the best yet? I dunno, Machete is pretty good. This is Eli Roth's slasher movie tribute, and he's hit or miss for me, but this seems to have been pretty well-recieved when it came out a couple weeks ago.
And for our b-movie... a robot santa goes on a killing spree. That's it. I haven't seen this yet, but I found the reviews funny, cuz every one trashing it mentions how often the characters say fuck. Sorry, "the f word". You're really watching a movie about a killer robot santa, and that's your concern? Well, if the movie uses it half as much as the reviews complain about it, we'll surely notice. Killer. Robot. Fucking. Santa.
Starring: Patrick Dempsey, Ty Olsson, Gina Gershon, Gabriel Davensport, Karen Cliche, Riley Dandy, Sam Delich, Jonah Ray

Dec 18th

   10:00pm | Black X-Mas (2006), Silent Night (2012) | R |
It's a Canadian Christmas! A very violent and gory one. You know those Canadians, all sweet and nice and bunnyhugs 'till they sit ya down to watch a movie, then slap you over the head with some of the most gruesome horror practicals imaginable. They're probably up there right now just thinking of some more crazy kills to put in the next awesome horror movie I'll no doubt have to watch. I love Canadian horror.
These are both remakes of classics. Not quite the caliber of the originals, but great in their own ways. Plenty of eye candy in Black Christmas which is extremely underrated considering the absolutely dismal 2019 remake. And you'll notice several nods to the Silent Night, Deadly Night series in our second. It's a Violent Night! No wait, that's coming later in the week...
Starring: Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert, Katie Cassidy, Kristen Cloke, Andrea Martin, Malcolm McDowell, Jamie King, Ellen Wong

Dec 17th

   9:30pm | Gremlins 1, 2 (1984) | PG, PG-13 |
Sometime between Gremlins and Gremlins: Lost in New York is when we stopped giving out the PG rating all willy-nilly to films that seem like they might be for kids, but actually are the source of countless nightmares for a whole generation of traumatized, unsuspecting little idiots. I'm lookin' at you Poltergeist... But not this one of course! This is just a fun Christmas romp with Phoebe Cates! And if you don't think I've always wanted to say that, it's like you don't know me at all!
Buckle up Batches, it's Christmas Time!
Starring: Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton, Keye Luke, Howie Mandel, Tony Randall, Christopher Lee

Dec 15th

 

   11:00pm | Malignant (2021) | R |
It's the Friday Night Midnight Movie! And it's one I don't know anything about. After the third review started with some variation of "this shit is bonkers," I stopped reading and figured we'd go in unvetted. Something about a woman with terrible visions of crimes, with elements of 80s horror, grindhouse, and giallo... So I can only assume James Wan made this movie specifically for me, and just forgot to tell me when it came out. It's cool Jim, just don't expect a Christmas card this year. You shouldn't either. You'll get a glitter gif in the discord at best, and you'll like it!
Starring: Annabelle Wallis, Maddie Hasson, George Young, Michole Briana White

Dec 12th

 

   9:30pm | Insidious 1, 2 (2011) | PG-13 |
Insidiouses? Insidii? Insidipodes? I dunno, a new one came out and remembered me the first couple are pretty good stuff. They get worse with each one though, unlike the Conjuring series which is kinda like running around in a landmine field, all great fun 'til you step on an Annabelle. This is an early-ish James Wan/Leigh Whannell teamup, and does some pretty great scares. I don't trust that PG-13 rating at all though, and you probably shouldn't either, or you might just spoop your pants right into The Further.
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Barbara Hershey

Dec 11th

   9:30pm | Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) | PG |
Spooderman is back, baby! And if you thought it was hard to keep track of the titles in the previous set of Marvel series, Welcome to the Spider-Verse! That's not one, just to be clear. The one we already watched (and loved) was Into the Spider-Verse. This one is Across the Spider-Verse. And coming soon, Beyond the Spider-Verse. Why they do this to us, you ask? I dunno, my guess is some marketing jerk suggested it like we won't know which one we're watching and buy them multiple times. Of course that would never work on me, my mind's like a steel trap with all the movies we watch, nothin's gettin' outta there! "Didn't you forget the alphabet last week?" Like I said, nothin's gettin' in, nothin's gettin' out!
Starring: Shameik Moore, Hailee Steinfeld, Brian Tyree Henry, Luna Lauren Velez, Oscar Isaac, Jake Johnson, Jason Schwartzman

Dec 10th

   9:30pm | The Gift (2015) | R |
I like Joel Edgerton, and not just cuz he's dreamy, I think he's a pretty pretty good actor too. Well he wrote and directed this little mystery movie about a couple who run into an old classmate, which leads to unexpected visits and the titular gifts. Let's see if Mr. Edgey has what it takes to be my crush behind the camera as well! Also, if you take out the "e", it's Jason Batman... so why doesn't he do that?
Starring: Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton

Dec 8th

   11:00pm | Aterrados (Terrified) (2018) | NR |
Everybody's talking about this crazy-good new horror movie When Evil Lurks by Argentinian newcomer Demián Rugna. Well, I haven't gotten a copy of that yet, but I did manage to find his last film which is apparently bone-chilling enough in its own right. I'm not sure what this is about exactly... some high strangeness occurs in this neighborhood, and some likely unlucky folks check it out. Personally, I'm going in cold. Real cold. Can we get the heat on in here? I'm calling the landlord. And asking them why they aren't here for the Friday Night Midnight Movie!!!
Starring: Maximiliano Ghione, Norerto Gonzalo, Elvira Onetto, Julieta Vallina

Dec 4th

   9:30pm | JFK (1991) | R |
We're just a few days after the 60th anniversary of JFK's assassination, so this J movie seems appropriate. I've never been a nut about this case or even really knew much about the man himself. But this sure is an epic movie. It's Oliver Stone at arguably his directorial best, and ironically least political. Based primarily on the Jim Marrs book, it follows the efforts of real life DA Jim Garrison as he tries to get the bottom of the official government story with more holes in it than, well... okay let's keep this high-brow.
Starring: Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman, Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Sissy Spacek, Laurie Metcalf, Kevin Bacon

Dec 3rd

   10:00pm | Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023) | PG-13 |
Where did we leave off with the last one? Green Girl died I think. And now the Guardians have to save the Galaxy from some force of evil or another. Tree Teen is proably like in his 20's now and backpacking around Galactic Europe. Super Mario, Big Guy, Dad Rock Soundtrack, and Raccoon. It's more James Gunn goodness, you know you love it!
Starring: Chris Pratt, Chukwudi Iwuji, BC, Pompom, Blue Girl, Strong Guy, Tree Diesel, and the rest

Dec 1st

 

   12:30pm | Anything for Jackson (2020) | NR |
This is a horror recommendation from my buddy Patton Oswalt. I haven't seen it yet, so you're in for the same ride as me. All I know is There's Something About Jackson. He's like a dead kid the grandparents wanna bring back, and yada yada We Need to Talk About Jackson. Sheesh, why don't they just stick 'em in a pet sematary? Whatever. Wherever All the Time, Jackson.
It's the friggin' Friday Night Midnight Movie!!!
Starring: Sheila McCarthy, Juilan Richings, Konstantina Mantelos, Josh Cruddas