July 31st

   9:00pm | Gintama Live Action the Movie (2017) This movie is... well this movie is straight up bonkers. The best I can come up with to describe this is "Japanese Troma with a better budget and for kids." I'm not a manga reader personally, but it seems like this live action version pretty well satisfies the comedy-action tone of the original work in the eyes of influential weebs at least. For the rest of us... well, there's a naked police chief completely covered in honey trying to lure beetles while standing in the woods in the first five minutes. Bring weed to this.
Starring: Shun Oguri, Masami Nagasawa, Kanna Hashimoto, Koichi Yamadera

July 29th

   9:00pm | John Dies at the End (2012) If you haven't read the book for some reason, hang back and I will gift it to you overnight. Otherwise you know what is in store here with this truly faithful film adaptation from Don Coscarelli. It's batshit bonkery absolutely doused with brilliance and bromance. I could talk forever about the wig-monster spider-bros and soy sauce and the Ship of Theseus Zombie and Jennifer Lopez and.... well, let's just dive in instead!
Starring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti, Clancy Brown

July 27th  

   9:00pm | Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) I'll be honest, I couldn't tell you what happens specifically in any of these if you paid me. They're all kinda just a big jumble of action zombiery, but that will never stop me from loving every minute of them! This one's the more Jill Valentine heavy though, I know that. I love that. I love her, and I'm in love with her.
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Eric Mabius, Oded Fehr, Jorah

July 26th

   9:00pm | Suck (2009) Music Monday is back! I've never heard of this before, but the cast is outrageous. A small-time band takes up a new bad habit that promises to improve their performance and chance at making it big. Musical-Horror-Comedy... will it suck? I dunno, but frickin' Moby is in it!
Starring: Rob Stefaniuk, Jessica Paré, Henry Rollins, Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, Dave Foley, Malcolm McDowell

July 24th

   9:00pm | I, Robot (2004) Asimov's robot collection in blockbuster mode with Big Willy Style and a shit-ton of Creepy McChromedome robits. One of 'em goes all Caesar from Planet of the Apes and tries to get all murdery against his programming. The Three Laws of Robotics are:
1) Robots can't hurt humans.
2) Robots gotta do what you say, unless Law 1.
3) Don't put your dick in that.
Will Smith ride a motorcycle... question mark?
Starring: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, Alan Tudyk, Chi McBride

July 22nd

   9:00pm | Men at Work (1990) The Brothers Sheen unite in this goofball comedy that some consider the best of the nineties. I guess I could try and make some social commentary about the class system and laborers sticking it to The Man, but I'll put that out for bulk trash day. Estevez writes and directs. It's sorta like Weekend at Bernie's. And it has one-liners for days... trash days. Golf clap? Golf clap.
Starring: Charlie, Emilio

July 20th  

   9:00pm | Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995) So in this, the first of the series that we're watching third, a species of giant bird is running amock and terrorizing humanity, and ancient-ass Gamera the turtle monster who is psych-bonded to a girl with an amulet of some kind found on a mysterious island has to help save the world. Hmmmm, this sounds suspiciously like Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris... coincidence??
Starring: Tsuyoshi Ihara, Ayako Fujitani, Akira Onodera

July 19th

   9:00pm | Snatch (2000) Am I doing a perfectly justified Brad marathon? Nahhh, I'm simply showing amazing movies, and if Brad happens to be in all the best movies, well, thems the breaks! This is a film that I would call a heist flick, but I dunno... maybe it's more of an exploration of the British underground toughs scene in general, spanning the gap between the Big Bads and Les IncompĂ©tents and tackling some serious class issues along the way. Also it's funny and cool, and you're funny and cool for watching it.
Starring: Jason Statham, Stephen Graham, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt, Benicio Del Toro, Alan Ford, Dennis Farina

July 17th

   9:00pm | Fight Club (1999) One of the best movies ever made. Certainly the highest rated we've watched. The message rings truer than ever after two DECADES! Palahniuk's novel is just a solid work of dystopian... present I guess? There's really just no amount of fawning over it that is too much. This fucking movie kicks ass.
I know what you're thinking, "It's 1999, what could J.K. Simmons be working on that he's not in this?" Well, friend, that would be The Cider House Rules... so yeah okay yes yep.
Starring: Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, HBC

July 15th

   9:00pm | Burn After Reading (2008) It's a goofy, sorta spy-heist comedy of imbeciles from the Coen Brothers with Pitt and Clooney. If that's not your thing... then who are you?? and how did you get here?!
(and just in case anybody's wondering, cuz I know you are, yes J.K. Simmons is in this.)
Starring: Brad, George, Frances, Tilda, Malkovich

July 13th

   9:00pm | Chocolate (2008) My favorite Kung Fu movie of all time! Strangely, it's a Thai movie about a Japanese/Thai romance that's frowned upon by the yakuza. But hear me out! They have a savant kid who grows up watching Bruce Lee movies and she goes on a... let's call it "collection tour" from people that still owe her sick mom money. This is classic Kung Fu story progression but with amazing Muay Thai and wild fun stunts! This movie will make you cheer, cry, and hurt yourself later kicking something around the apartment, guaranteed.
Starring: JeeJa Yanin, Taphon Phopwandee, Ammara Siriphong, Hiroshi Abe

July 12th  

   9:00pm | Underworld: Evolution (2006) Waaaay back we watched Underworld, so this is warranted. And Kate Beckinsale in tight, black pleather is just warranted in general - some might argue mandated at strategic times. Vamps and Furries do gun violence on each other in the name of ancient bloodlines and whatnot in the bluest of blue lighting ever on film.
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran, Shane Brolly, Derek Jacobi, Bill Nighy, Brian Steele Again? Is he the new J.K. Simmons around here?

July 10th

   9:00pm | Hellboy (2004) It's Guillermo del Toro's big and colorful action movie about the DarkHorse comic hero-demon re-spawned on Earth to fight evil forces and be super intimidating and red. I haven't seen the newest version, but I'm sure it can't hold a candle to this bright, burning boy! Plus Selma Blair smokes up the screen in her catsuit. Is J.K. Simmons in this? J.K. Simmons should be in this.
Starring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Rupert Evans Jeffery Tambor, John Hurt, David Hyde Pierce

July 8th

   9:00pm | Blood Fest (2018) Horror subgenre mashup monster party festival-goers are locked in for the night and it goes about how you'd expect. Personally, I think this is an underrated meta-horror modern classic, reaching for, if not quite achieving Cabin in the Woods level awesome. The references and homages are in no short supply if you're tuned in to that aspect, but even if you're not an aficionado (the exact type of person that would be at this Fest) it's still a bloody fun time!
Starring: Robbie Kay, Seychelle Gabriel, Jacob Batalon, Barbara Dunkelman, Tate Donovan

July 5th  

   9:00pm | Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion (1996) One week after the previous film, which is the third, we watch the second which is about one year after the first. So, Gamera is still on our side as an alien species of insect kaijus tries to infiltrate Earth. And if there's one thing about summer that Gamera hates, it's the bugs.
Starring: Toshiyuki Nagashima, Miki Mizuno, Tamotsu Ishibashi

July 4th

   9:00pm | Teen Wolf (1985) Happy 4th of July! And nice T-shirt Stiles. Maybe it's just me, but I think there's no better representation of the standard American teenage life than this classic film. Happy Birthday America. Try not to blow your fingers off!
Starring: Michael J. Fox James Hampton, Susan Ursitti, Jerry Levine

July 1st

   9:00pm | The Tomorrow War (2021) Wow, this is exciting! Showing a movie on the day it drops! Aliens, Action, Time Travel... what's not to love here?? Plus every one of my podcasts won't shut the fuck up about this movie, and I also apparently have a thing for J.K. Simmons, so here we go! Spoonman, you got anything to say about that? "Wow."
Starring: Chris Pratt, Yvonne Strahovski, J.K. Simmons