Aug 31st  

   9:00pm | Alien (1979) Technically a 2FT canonically cuz we didn't finished the series on the Memorial Day Marathon. It wasn't available then, and is leaving 4 minutes after we watch it tonight! The only way to describe this film is intense... well also tense... are those the same? It's those things. This is an amazingly directed and edited masterpiece of suspense, a completely different experience than the less serious rest of the series. So probably no alien-dick-gifting-to-Winona-Ryder. Probably.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Veronica Cartwright, Harry Dean Stanton, Ian Holm

Aug 30th

   9:00pm | Adaptation. (2002) Cage Night! This bonkers Spike Jonze film has all the comedy, perfect writing, meta, and heart-breaking drama that no other director could possibly squeeze into a two hour story. It's peak filmmaking to nobody's surprise, and to some surprise maybe one of the lesser "Cagey" roles despite there being double the Cage!
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Nicolas Cage, Tilda Swinton

Aug 28th

   9:00pm | Hook (1991) Adult Peter Pan must return to Neverland to save the kids in this 90s Spielberg "flop". I mean, it's probably his lowest rated and got a lot of critical hate over the years, but somehow we all still seem to love the shit out of it! Hoffman kills it bigtime as the titular villain, and Roberts is a faery for all you sick weirdos who are totally probably not me and that ticks a box for.
Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins, Maggie Smith, Phil Collins, Rufioooooooo

Aug 26th

   9:00pm | The Ususal Suspects (1995) The actual plot of this is about some sorta drug heist situation gone wrong, but this absolutely fucking phenomenal film is really all about the subtle, intense character relationships and downright masterful direction from Singer. I can't imagine somebody having not seen this, but regardless if you have or haven't, it is definitely an all-timer!
Starring: Spacey, Byrne, Palminteri, S. Baldwin, Benicio Del Taco, Kevin Pollack, Pete Postlethwaite, My Boy Clark Gregg!

Aug 24th  

   9:00pm | Jaws 2 (1978) While not in 3D, so inferior to Jaws 3 (which we watched first naturally), 2 is certainly a Jaws film, which shouldn't reeeallly be said for Jaws 4 with a 3 rating. What are the odds of ANOTHER 25 foot killer shark attacking the same small town? I dunno, but probably don't bother asking the citizens of Amity, cuz they a bunch of dumb-dumbs and nobody seems to have learned their lesson here at all.
Starring: Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton

Aug 23rd

   9:00pm | Scotland, Pa. (2001) So here we have a modern MacBeth re-imagining, but set in the 70s and made in the 00s, a real timey-wimey mind-tongue twister about a hamburger stand employee and likely some murdery murder. I may be totally out on my own limb, but Maura Tierney has always been a major inexplicable crush; she just mesmerizes me for some reason. I guess so does Walken in his own way... not in quite the same E.D. curing way... but hey, no judgement if you've got a Walken poster on your ceiling!
Starring: James Le Gros, Maura Tierney, Christopher Walken

Aug 21st

   9:00pm | Catch Me If You Can (2002) With Spielberg at the helm and a cast this charismatic, it's absolutely no surprise this movie slaps like an Indian guy on a reality show. Frank Abagnale Jr. is a super young and super successful con artist and forger, able to pass himself off as a pilot, doctor, lawyer, et al. with a probably 90% ActLikeYouBelong attitude and 10% luck (aka being hot). He engages in a cat-and-mouse game with FBI agent Carl who becomes obsessed and makes it his life goal to catch Frank. Bring some popcorn and your eyeballs!
Starring: Leo, Hanks, Walken, Amy Adams, Ellen Pompeo, Martin Sheen, James Brolin

Aug 19th

   9:00pm | Machete (2010) Robert Rodriguez finally made this film a few years after featuring a goof trailer for it on Grindhouse: Planet Terror and apparently Danny Trejo bugging the shit out of him. It is super grindhousey and if you're somehow unfamiliar with the 70s exploitation genre, that means ultra-violent camp action to the natural comedic pinnacle. But it's still Rodriguez, so also thoroughly goddamnning good!
Starring: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Bobby D, Don Johnson, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagull, Cheech

Aug 17th  

   9:00pm | Predator 2 (1990) So Predator is adjusting to city life in LA after finally making it out of the sticky jungle where he was being harassed by 80s action stars, only to now get a bunch of flack from some LAPD jags with illegal alien killing boners. This could only be better if it had a foreshadowing hint at an Alien/Predator crossover in the future!
Starring: Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Bill Paxton, Adam Baldwin

Aug 16th

   9:00pm | Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008) Turn your speakers up to maximum "twee" for this Music Monday teen rom-com! Maybe wouldn't top the echelon in the one-night-party-movie genre (obviously that's Superbad, then Can't Hardly Wait with silver), but still a really solid entry with an appropriately great soundtrack. Tune in for young love, good tunes, and... the 1% of times I play anything with a rom in the description at all!
Starring: George Michael, Half of Two Broke Girls

Aug 14th

   9:00pm | Willow (1988) Probably the most classic fantasy film! An early Ron Howard-directed, magic-filled action-adventure, Willow follows the titular character through a world of trials and tribulations and Kilmers in cages on his journey to protect and save a baby destined to bring down the evil Queen. Prime has this version with deleted scenes and a making-of (which is weird, I've never seen this kinda thing before), but actual movie runtime is just 2h6m, so don't worry about the listing time.
Starring: Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley

Aug 12th

   9:00pm | An American Werewolf in London (1981) Considered the greatest werewolf movie of all time, this John Landis film manages to pack in substantial humor, storytelling, and scares! It has the absolute premier transformation scene, showcasing Rick Baker's awesome practicals work. This is a must-see if you haven't and a great romp if you have!
Starring: David Naughton, Jenny Agutter, Griffin Dunne, John Woodvine, Frank Oz, Jim Henson

Aug 10th  

   9:00pm | Jaws 3-D (1983) It's a classic Two 4 Tuesday with Jaws 3: Jaws 3-D in 2-D! Now feel free to make your own Seran Wrap and colored marker 3-D glasses like me, but don't expect it to help this wonderful, awful trainwreck. There will be a significant amount of seemingly random floating objects and poking of broomsticks at the camera though, so just cuz we're not in the hey-day of 3-D cinema doesn't mean we can't enjoy a ridiculous movie about a giant shark somehow making it into Sea World and wreaking havoc!
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Bess Armstrong, Bikini Lea Thompson, Lou Gossett Jr., Bikini P.H. Moriarty?

Aug 9th

   9:00pm | Burlesque (2010) Came across this and was surprised how high it's rated. So I guess maybe it's not a Showgirls with a Jesse who can sing, like I probably thought at the time. But who knows! Music Mondays are full of surprises. This could be a real hot pile of garbage with a lot of fun hats! Join for the plot.
Starring: Cher, Xtina, Alan Cumming, Stanley Tucci, Cam Gigandet's Abs

Aug 7th

   9:00pm | Big Fish (2003) A dying father tells tall tales to his somewhat estranged son. It's a funny, magical, and touching story of storytelling. This is Tim Burton at probably his least Burtony visually, but his most Burtony in storytelling. It's a really fantastic ride. Actually, this should be a ride. Can we all just acknowledge how Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is waaaay too early in the park? Like, gimme some time for the shrooms to kick in, geez.
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Marion Cotillard, HBC, Steve Buscemi, Danny Devito

Aug 5th

   9:00pm | Goon (2011) I may be wrong, but I think everybody appreciates this for the great sports comedy it is. Stifler plays the titular goon, a hockey enforcer, and it's actually got plenty of goofs, quality sports action, and solid underdog storytelling. Will I know what an "icing" penalty is after this? Of course not, that's more confusing than listening to the infield-fly rule explained in Welsh.
Starring: Seann William Scott, Jay Baruchel, Alison Pill, Eugene Levy

Aug 3rd  

   9:00pm | Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) John McClane must save the D.C. airport from terrorists while his wife is on one of the planes that for some reason can't just go to Baltimore. It's a lot like Die Hard, but soooo much HARDER. I mean, it's not quite as HARD as driving a fucking police car into an airborn helicopter, but you gotta leave something for the subsequels. Amazing series with amazing titles. Keep an eye out for all the fun antics we used to have in airports pre-9/11!
Starring: Bruce Willis, Reginald VelJohnson, Franco Nero, Dennis Franz, John Leguizamo

Aug 2nd

   9:00pm | Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) No, I don't have any intention of turning Music Monday into Vampire Rock Musical Monday specifically, but I just gotta unload all these Vampire Rock Musicals clogging my feed! This is Jarmusch, so expect heady visuals and scenes that seem to age you in real time over big, bloody battles and models in pleather catsuits. Mia looks pretty dreadful in this, but hey who am I kidding, I'm still probably not kicking her outta bed for a li'l bite on the neck.
Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Tilda Swinton, Mia Wasikowska, John Hurt, Anton Yelchin